Lizzo Takes a Lie Detector Test

This is how y'all got my boy Shawn Mendez.

Why did it move like that when I said Shawn Mendes?

I had an emotional reaction to Shawn Mendes?

[Interviewer] Lizzo, do you know why you're here today?

Yeah, oh, I know why I am here today.

[Interviewer] Are you ready to be hooked up?

Yeah, well, now I'm feeling [beep] weird, the hell?

[electronic cackling]

[Female Speaker] Can you raise your arms for me?

What?

How is this gonna tell you

whether I'm telling the truth or not?

I actually hate this right now.

[Interviewer] Is your real name Melissa Vivian Jefferson?

Yes.

[Interviewer] Are you a flutist/singer/rapper/actress?

Oka, yeah, I am. I'll take actress.

[Interviewer] Would you say

it's about damn time you took this test?

I wouldn't. [laughs]

I would not say that. Is that a lie?

Inconclusive.

[laughs]

[Interviewer] Let's start with your career.

One of your signature lyrics is, I just took a DNA test,

turns out I'm 100% that bitch.

Have you ever taken an actual DNA test?

No.

[Interviewer] Would you?

Yes.

She got my back.

[Interviewer] What celebrity would you most wish

to be related to?

Probably Beyonce, but I'm from Detroit,

but you never know.

That's true? That's true.

What? No cap, no kizzie. [laughs]

[Interviewer] Your song, Truth Hurts,

came out nearly five years ago today.

Today?

[Interviewer] Are you still 100% that bitch?

I mean, sometimes yes, sometimes no.

You have your ups and downs when being that bitch.

That's what being that bitch is all about.

[Interviewer] Can you please define that bitch?

I think it's owning your identity,

and having autonomy of your body and owning that.

And of who you are and owning that,

having no shame in your motherfucking game.

Mm-hmm.

That's true.

[Interviewer] Do you ever

re-watch performances you've done?

No, yes, no.

I used to, no, but I do now, yes.

Inconclusive.

Well, so am I, fuck.

[Interviewer] Do you have an opinion

on your best performance?

Do - I have an opinion on my best performance?

No.

That is true.

[Interviewer] Is there anything you'd change

about any of your performances?

Yeah, I guess, like, I could always be sexier.

That's a lie.

[laughs] A lie?

I guess I can't be sexier, I guess I'm as sexy as I can be.

[laughs]

Damn, call me out there.

[Interviewer] Your show,

Lizzo's Watch Out for the Big Grrrls,

won the Emmy for Best Competition Program.

Are you trying to achieve EGOT status?

[mumbles]

Yeah, see, you can't spell EGOT without ego,

and I try to keep my ego out of my career and my purpose.

So I think a EGOT is an incredible achievement.

Would I say that when I started doing music,

was my goal, I want to get an EGOT?

No, but now that I see it's even possible

with the Emmy nominations, then yeah.

That's true. Damn, she's like,

Bitch, you should've said 'yeah' in the first place.

Dream big.

[Interviewer] How would you celebrate an EGOT status?

Probably we just go straight back to work.

This bitch has a problem, it's true.

[Interviewer] You wrote over 200 songs for a special.

Were you surprised that you wrote that many songs?

No, I'm more surprised at how many articles

have picked that up,

and keep talking about it like it's not normal.

I feel like songwriters write

so many fucking songs all the time. [chuckles]

[Interviewer] What happens with the songs

that don't make the album?

Mm...

I guess they go down the poop shoot.

[Interviewer] Would you ever give a song you wrote

to an artist you didn't like?

[gasps]

Fuck.

I wouldn't.

I've done it before. [laughs]

I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding.

God, why do I talk?

[Interviewer] The next category is pop culture.

Okay, I know this.

[Interviewer] Be honest, Lizzo,

do you think you spend too much time on TikTok?

Be honest, do I spend too much time on TikTok?

Yes, it's like TikTok is running,

and it's just in my hand, running.

As I get up and go about my day, I'm brushing my teeth,

TikTok is running on my phone.

I go to eat, I sit down, I prop the phone up

and I'm scrolling my FYP while eating breakfast.

That is true.

It's true.

This is bad.

[Interviewer] How many hours do you spend on TikTok?

We not gonna talk about that, inconclusive.

It's a lot, it's embarrassing.

I was looking at time spent,

we were all comparing it, and I was like,

Is this supposed to be for a day or for the week?

[Interviewer] Would people be surprised

to see what's on your For You Page?

This is how y'all got my boy Shawn Mendes.

Would people be surprised to know what's on my FYP?

No.

She's lying. Okay, maybe they would.

[Interviewer] Do you have a private TikTok account?

No, I do all my dirt in the light.

[laughs]

[Interviewer] What about Instagram?

A private Instagram?

You already know.

Yes, I have a private Instagram.

[Interviewer] What do you post?

What do I post?

Damn, I can't even lie 'cause I can't lie.

I'm like, What do I post?

Post pictures of me and my man.

[snort laughs]

[Interviewer] You tweeted that you're now

hooked on Love Island.

[Interviewer] It's true. Does that

mean you use a lot of British slang these days?

Yes, it's embarrassing.

I dream in British, because I always thought

it was, like, Blimey!

But now I'm learning about all these new ones.

There's, What's the crack, what's the crack?

I don't think that's my favorite though,

What's the crack?

Gosh, there's so many, Cheeky.

We're having a chat,

I don't even know what a chat means.

We're having a chat.

I'm not arsed about it, I'm not arsed about it at all.

I'm like, What are y'all talking about?

What you saying? That's such a weird thing.

What you saying, to say, What's up to somebody.

There's a lot of 'em, I could do this all day.

[Interviewer] Okay, you attended the Met Gala.

Allegedly.

[Interviewer] But it's said that next year

you want the theme to be Freaknik.

If you were one of the Chairs of the Met Gala,

who would you want to be your fellow co-chairs?

If I was on the Chair of the Met Gala,

and the theme was Freaknik,

which is a fire theme, by the way,

please give me the credit for that.

It's gotta be somebody from Atlanta,

and it's gotta be somebody who's a freak.

[laughs]

My dumb ass, I was about to say Sierra. [laughs]

Not saying Sierra's not a freak., she might be.

Sierra would be a fire co-chair.

That's true.

Sierra, Freaknik, 2023, mark our words.

[Interviewer] Do you think you could make this woman laugh

at the Met Gala?

This is Anna Wintour.

'Cause when I'm sitting with Anna,

I'm really sitting with Anna.

Actually I have made Anna Wintour laugh at the Met Gala.

That's true.

Period, bitch, what's good? I did.

[Interviewer] How did you make her laugh?

I just, I told her who she was. [laughs]

Right?

And she was like, I am that bitch.

I didn't call her that bitch.

I wouldn't, I didn't cuss at her.

It's true.

[Interviewer] Let's move on to your life.

You've said you were made fun of in school

for being a band geek.

Have you heard from any of the people

who used to make fun of you?

[chuckles]

Yeah.

[Interviewer] Have they apologized?

Yeah.

[Interviewer] Tried to get free tickets to a show?

Yeah. [laughs]

Yeah.

[Interviewer] Did you give them free tickets to the show?

I didn't.

That is true.

I feel like I should have said, Yeah,

but that would've been a lie.

[Interviewer] You're a Taurus.

Yes.

[Interviewer] And astrology is very important to you.

Mm-hmm.

[Interviewer] Did you know that what you consider

your Zodiac sign might not be your actual Zodiac sign?

I didn't know that.

[Interviewer] What do you think

your new zodiac sign could be?

Is this, like, hypothetical?

I really love being a Taurus.

I think I could get down with being a Pisces.

I could get down with being a Libra for sure.

Why?

[Interviewer] Would you be shocked to hear that-

Don't fuck with me today, come on.

[Interviewer] Would you be shocked to hear

that you're an Aries?

Bitch, nah.

I'm not a fucking Aries.

I'm not a fucking Aries.

I'm not an Aries.

I'm not gonna say it's my least favorite sign,

but it's the least likely I would ever want to be.

High key, no shade.

All T.

An Aries? Ew.

No shade, ew.

I don't like Aries men.

[Interviewer] Now, let's see if all the rumors are true.

Were you a huge fan of this band as a kid?

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh, that's my answer.

♪ Uh-Huh ♪

♪ Uh-Huh ♪

I was a huge fan of B2K, was? Bitch, I still am.

I cried at the reunion.

That's true.

[Interviewer] Who was your favorite member?

Easily J-Boog.

J-Boog, J-Boogie, J-Bookster.

I'm in a Boogie high.

Everybody was like, Lil' Fizz, Omarion.

I was like, No, you don't understand.

He got the mouthpiece, he got the intelligence,

he be talking, he spit the game, he funny.

He got a little chipped tooth,

little gap, chipped tooth.

That was my man, my man, my man. [laughs]

It's true.

[Interviewer] Final question.

At any point did you lie

during this interview and we didn't catch you?

No, I didn't lie.

I didn't lie, I wanted to.

I wanted to lie about a couple things,

but I didn't, 'cause I'm a real bitch, okay?

100% that bitch?

Lie.

1,000% that bitch?

Lie.

1 million percent that bitch.

That is true.

Damn, finally we got proof.

Show these hoes to quit hatin' on me.

It's real, isn't it?

All right, what else do I wanna know about myself?

'Cause I can find out right now.

I'm in love?

Girl, don't play with me now that the camera's rolling.

That's true.

My man, my man, my man.

Okay, good, what else do I wanna know?

Okay, I'm done.