Seth Rogen and Charlize Theron Take a Lie Detector Test

[Interviewer] Seth.

Yo.

[Interviewer] Charlize.

That's me.

[Interviewer] Today you'll be taking a lie detector test.

So dramatic.

This is pretty dramatic.

Very dramatic.

Quite dramatic. Look at you guys.

[Seth laughs]

[Interviewer] One of you will be hooked up to the machine

and the other will conduct the interview.

Oh no.

[Interviewer] And then you'll switch.

Oh!

[Interviewer] So who wants to go first?

I'll go, I'm closer.

Oh Jesus.

[dramatic music]

Thank you.

This was a terrible idea.

[laughs]

Okay, it's nice to know a computer

from 1984 is doing this.

[Charlize laughs]

Let's keep it going.

Okay, hi, Seth.

Hi, Charlize.

Am I Charlize?

[Seth laughs]

Don't ask me if I've seen That Thing You Do.

[laughs]

'Cause I haven't.

[dramatic bang]

Is your name Seth Rogen?

It is.

Are you getting real-time results?

Have you ever smoked weed?

I have.

Are you nervous?

I am!

[Charlize laughs]

Are you Canadian, correct?

I am a dual citizen.

[Charlize] Mmmm.

Yeah.

Is it true that Canadians are nicer than Americans?

I think they are.

Who do you think is the nicer Canadian?

Yeah.

Ryan Reynolds or Ryan Gosling?

I'm gonna say Ryan Reynolds,

and I say that 'cause I've never met Ryan Gosling.

Is that true?

It is true.

That's true.

You made me nervous.

I don't know if I have or not.

I have met Ryan Reynolds, and he's delightful.

He's a lot nicer than a guy that handsome needs to be.

[Charlize] Got it.

Is what I'll say about Ryan Reynolds.

He's as nice as a short guy.

What?

[laughs]

It's a running joke I have.

[laughs]

Do you think Canadians are more attractive than Americans?

[breathes deeply]

Not as a rule.

[laughs]

Do you think Canadian politicians are more attractive

than American politicians?

Yes!

[Charlize laughs]

This guy's hard to read.

Are you upset that this Canadian never asked you

to be on his show?

I mean, I've hosted his show, but I'm not.

Lorne, I'm not upset that --

Am I upset I haven't been a cast member on SNL?

No, I would not do good at that.

But he's a lovely, he's been very nice to me, Lorne.

There's not a lot of Canadian Jews,

so you stick together when you meet one.

Okay, focus.

Right?

[Charlize laughs]

Is Canadian bacon better than American bacon?

No.

[beep] you.

[laughs]

You made me turn on my own country.

Canadian bacon's weird.

It's ham.

I'll just come clean.

It's ham.

[laughs]

It's what you know as ham.

It's ham in a pan.

It's pan ham.

It's like British bacon that floppy,

it's like a floppy disk.

You want bacon to be crispy,

and I'm sorry Canadian bacon.

I disagree with that.

Whoa.

You grew up doing karate in Canada, yes?

I did, yes.

Did you think karate was cool?

[laughs]

I did think karate was cool.

The Karate Kid was one of my favorite movies.

Were you more of a Danny LaRusso

or a Johnny Lawrence type fighter?

You know, I got into karate because I liked Danny LaRusso,

but as I did karate more I learned

I was more of a Cobra Kai.

We swept the foot.

We did foot sweeps.

Are you a black belt?

No, I was a brown belt.

[Charlize] Sounds racist.

What are you clicking over there?

[laughs]

What's to click?

Okay, do you think you could beat me in a fight?

No.

Do I?

Definitely not.

[laughs]

I truthfully don't think I can.

If I had like an implement, a stick, bowling pin,

or something I'd have a shot.

[laughs]

Other than that, no.

Hand-to-hand, no, the answer is no.

Did you begin your career doing stand-up?

I did.

Is it true your mom drove you to your first stand-up?

She did.

You met your writing partner,

Evan Goldberg, in Bar Mitzvah class, right?

I did.

Was his Bar Mitzvah more fun than yours?

Probably because he had a fake tattoo guy

at his Bar Mitzvah and I had square dancing teacher

at my Bar Mitzvah.

If you were ever going to ask a kid what's cooler,

fake tattoo guy or square dance teaching guy

I think fake tattoo guy would take the cake on that.

Do you think you became a man after your Bar Mitzvah?

[laughs]

I still don't think I've become a man.

[laughs]

Is Evan still your best friend?

Yeah!

Am I your best friend?

No.

[laughs]

But I like you very much.

Give us time.

You and Evan were also both writers on Da Ali G Show.

We were, yeah.

Is that where you met your wife?

Sort of.

Someone who worked on that show introduced me to my wife.

Was this your first major role?

It was.

Freaks and Geeks.

Look how little I am.

Do you stay in touch with the other actors?

I do.

I've talked to both of them in the last month I would say.

Do you think it was canceled too soon?

I do think it was canceled too soon.

And I did yell at the guy who canceled it

actually backstage at SNL once.

Is there a reunion in the works?

No.

[Charlize] No?

Not that I know of.

If you had to set me up

with one of your former co-stars who would it be?

Jason Mantzoukas, Zac Efron, or Nick Krohl?

That's a good question.

Probably, weirdly, Mantzoukas.

[Charlize] I like it.

Yeah.

[Charlize] I like it.

He's great.

You'll meet him tonight, actually.

[laughs]

Maybe it's a setup.

And I'm sorry to Krohl and Zac.

Zac's too young for you.

[laughs]

Right?

Am I lying? Sorry, Charlize.

[Seth] See?

Incredibly ageist, incredibly sexist.

But he's right. I mean just mature,

but I'm right.

I just mean you're at different places.

Focus.

[laughs]

Alright.

Zac doesn't want two kids.

[laughs]

I'm gonna [beep] come after you now.

[laughs]

Are you high right now and don't [beep] lie?

I am, yeah, a little bit.

[laughs]

Do you have weed on you right now?

No, I don't think I do.

No, I don't.

I got nervous maybe because I thought I might.

Have we smoked weed together?

I think so.

Probably, right?

Yeah a hit here or there.

[laughs]

Do you think I'd be fun to be high with?

Yes!

[laughs]

More fun than this person?

In some ways.

Is that true, John?

John, is that true?

That's true.

It is?

Yeah!

That's a compliment.

Yeah.

That is a compliment.

You bring different things to the table.

Okay, what about this person?

David Harbour.

[Charlize] He's amazing.

He is we flew back on an airplane with him recently.

[Charlize] Yeah.

Yeah.

More fun me or him?

You are more fun than David Harbour.

He's great but yeah.

Okay, what about him?

What about this guy?

Post Malone.

[Charlize] I'm more fun or is he more fun to be high with?

I would rather hang out with you.

This is amazing.

John, is that true?

Yeah, he's telling the truth.

[Seth] It is.

I mean it's fun in like a you know...

Seth, I had no idea I had this impact on you.

Thank God.

Or how about this guy?

This is a tough one.

Focus.

Is this what Michael Cera looks like now?

[laughs]

I haven't seen this dude in a couple of years and yeah.

[laughs]

I just imagined you on Dateline actually being questioned.

If this was like a real deposition I would [mumbles]

[laughs]

That would be terrible.

I hope I'm never deposed.

Do you think this person...

[Seth] Michael?

No, this person, did he really inhale?

Did he actually inhale?

He probably smoked weed.

Come on, this guy?

[Charlize] I'm not being tested so...

Okay, yes, I do think Bill Clinton inhales.

Have you given your dog, Zelda, weed?

Once, we blew weed smoke in her face

and then she stared me in the eyes

and peed right in front of me on the carpet.

[laughs]

As if she was like what did you do to me?

[beep] you.

Don't do this ever again.

[laughs]

Should I give my dogs weed?

No, probably not.

If you do, do it outside.

[laughs]

Okay, at any point during this interview did you lie?

[Seth] No.

And we didn't catch you?

Just be honest.

It'd be cool if I could beat a lie detector test.

[Charlize] You didn't lie once.

It'd be a good skill to have.

[Charlize] Not once?

Let me try to beat it.

Ask me something and I just want

to see if I can beat this dude.

Do you have a double D?

Size breast?

[Charlize] Yes.

Unfortunately, maybe, but that's not a good...

I'm a big B or a small D.

Are you a Russian-Polish 80-year-old woman?

Yes.

No dice.

Ah, see?

Okay, thank God, but one day I will be.

[laughs]

[dramatic bang]

It's a little tight.

[clears throat]

Okay, ready?

Are you ready?

[laughs]

Yes, I'm ready.

Is your name Charlize Theron?

Yes.

Th-rone.

Yes.

Actually pronounced Th-rone.

Yes, Charlize Th-rone.

Yes.

Are you nervous right now?

No, I don't think so.

I don't give a [beep].

You don't care about this.

Let's gt started.

You were born in South Africa, is that correct?

Yes.

But you don't have a South African accent right now?

Yes.

Is that because you have a good pretend American accent

and you're just doing it all the time?

No.

[Seth] Really?

I learned English like an American.

Okay.

What's the most South African thing you can say right now?

South African or Afrikaans?

Just a South African thing?

Yeah, we'll get to Afrikaans.

Oh.

[Seth] Just answer the question, Charlize.

What's the most South African thing you can say right now?

Let's have a little braai tonight, eh?

Alright, is that most South African

thing she could've said in this moment?

Okay, good.

How would the computer know?

It would know if you knew somewhere

in your head there was a more South African thing

you could've said in that moment.

You speak Afrikaans, right?

This is very intimidating.

Yep.

I do, yes.

Can you tell me what you think of me in Afrikaans?

[speaks Afrikaans]

Was that right?

Do I snoks?

That's right, you do snoks.

[laughs]

I do snoks.

Do you think that it's fair that I am

in The Lion King and you are not?

I do think that's completely fair.

Okay, I appreciate that you can just be happy for me.

Very happy for you, Seth.

I'm glad.

Dave Matthews is also South African.

Yes, I think so.

I think he's half South African.

[Seth] Oh! I'm not 100%.

[Seth] Do you not like it when people put Dave Matthews

in with other South Africans?

No, I love Dave Matthews, yes.

Can you name three Dave Matthews songs?

Crash...

Oh shit.

This is not lying though this is...

Dave is watching.

Dave is watching this.

This is not lying though how is this...

[Seth] No, this is just a quiz.

Don't worry about it.

Do you like Dave Matthews?

Yes, I do.

But you don't know three of his songs, so that's okay.

I don't.

What about Die Ant-Ward?

[Afrikaans accent] Die Antwoord.

[Seth] Yes.

Yes, I like Die Antwoord.

Which concert would you rather go see with me?

Die Antwoord or Dave Matthews?

Oh, Die Antwoord.

You would enjoy that more.

[Seth] I would like Die Antwoord.

Die Antwoord.

I've been to a few Dave Matthews concerts.

They're amazing.

Yeah, you can't be married to a Jewish woman

and not have been dragged to a few Dave Matthews concerts.

Tell me about it.

These are photos of you in 1996 and 2019.

Oh my gosh.

Are you aware that you have not aged?

Well, I just have a lot of...

Are you aware that you have not aged?

[laughs]

Yes or no?

No, I've aged.

[Seth] Okay.

I have aged.

[Seth] Are you a vampire?

No, I've aged.

How can you be a vampire?

[Seth] Just answer that.

No, I'm not a vampire.

A lot of people have been talking about it.

This whole thing was reverse engineered for us

to find a chance to ask you if you were a vampire.

I am not a vampire.

You won the Oscar for Best Actress in 2004.

Is that correct?

Yes.

[Seth] Where you do you keep your Oscar?

In the TV room.

Is your Oscar your most prized possession?

No.

But it's top five, right?

No.

Okay.

People, Seth, people are more important than awards.

If money ever got tough though

would you consider selling your Oscar?

Oh, that's tough.

I wouldn't want to.

Would you sell it to me right now?

You can borrow it for a week.

Okay, thank you.

Do you think I would be a good Oscar host?

Yes!

Thank you.

We share some intimate scenes in our film.

Do we?

Yes.

Am I a better kisser than Vin Diesel?

[laughs]

I don't want to know the answer to that.

Yes you are.

Thank [beep] God.

[beep] you, Vin.

Get out of here.

[laughs]

I love that you have a photo of Vin Diesel

just in case nobody knows who Vin Diesel is.

We carry them everywhere.

I have a stack of them.

Don't worry.

[laughs]

Oh my God.

What about this person?

Uh, no, she's a good kisser.

Sorry.

[Seth] I would imagine.

Christina Ricci, she's a very good kisser.

What about this man?

I would say it's a tie.

[Seth] Good, I'll take it.

Move on.

Don't answer that.

[laughs]

We don't need to know what that was.

John, was I lying?

Nope, not lying.

There you go.

Again, Seth, I don't give a [beep].

You don't give a shit.

Do you think I'm a better singer than this man?

No.

Good, I don't either.

Oh, sorry, it's Seth MacFarlane.

Yes, no, he's an amazing singer.

Sorry.

Have you ever been on a dating app?

No.

Have you ever gotten too drunk on the first date?

Yes.

Too stoned?

Yes.

You were mentioned in the German song

Omega by [mumbles].

I was?

[Seth] Apparently.

Let's listen to it.

[German music plays]

Oh, that's [beep] dope.

That sounds like the last thing my grandmother heard.

[laughs]

[reciting lyrics in German]

Which translated means at parties with celebrities

and stars like Beyonce and Charlize Theron.

So have you ever been at a party with Beyonce?

Yes.

[Seth] Who do you think would win at beer pong?

Me, you, or Beyonce?

I think me.

At any point during this interview did you lie

and we didn't catch you?

No, I did not lie.

Nice, we did it.

Mic drop, bitches.

[laughs]

[dramatic bang]