Charlie Day & Jenny Slate Take Lie Detector Tests

Famously you voiced Marcel the shell with shoes on.

Yes.

Does it bother you when people ask you to do the voice?

Sometimes depending on like where, like, you know

where I am.

Can we hear you do the voice?

Jenny, Charlie, we've brought you here today

to take a lie detector test.

One of you will be hooked up to the lie detector

while the other asks the questions, then you'll switch.

So who wants to be in the hot seat first?

How do you feel?

I feel that although I have nothing to hide

I would like to see how the apparatus works.

I'm perfectly comfortable with people knowing

that I'm lying so we can, we can, yeah.

Strap me up.

Great.

Too tight for you.

Let know if you're uncomfortable.

It's nice set.

I'm about to have a heart attack, just watching

you get set up

Charlie, to calibrate at this machine,

I'm going to ask you some straightforward questions.

Please answer them honestly.

I'll try.

Okay. Is your full name Charles Peckham Day?

Yes, it is.

Richard.

He's telling the truth.

X out.

Okay good. I should have said no.

See if I could beat the machine.

Were you born in New York city?

I was not.

He's

That's a lie.

He's lying.

Okay. Okay.

I was born in New York, yes.

You were.

I just wanted to test the machine.

So he nod, he, he said this, which I said

which I meant to, so okay. Whatever

Now we know it works. Goddamn it. Alright.

Are you ready to take this lie detector test?

Yes.

Richard. Are we ready?

We are ready.

Okay. Alright. Let's get started.

We're calibrated.

In the past you've mentioned that you are bad

at reading social cues.

Would you say that this is still true?

I don't know that I was telling the truth

when I said that.

I think I'm okay at reading social cues

maybe I just kind of said it on a whim.

So, so that's a non-answer.

Interesting.

Okay.

I think it's untrue.

I think it's not true.

I think I'm okay at reading social cues.

You think you're okay at reading social cues?

Mm-hmm. Sorry.

It's possible.

It's possible. Alright. I'm in the ballpark.

Okay. Have you ever pissed someone

off because you misread them?

Yeah, sure, absolutely.

Oh, telling the truth.

What happened?

I've been with my wife for 20 years.

So believe me, I've misread her plenty of times.

I've pissed her off even more.

He's telling the truth.

Yes. Richard says that you're telling the truth.

What was your first impression of me?

I liked you a great deal.

Richard.

Mm.

Oh no.

Oh God.

I thought, I think I thought I liked you.

I'm too scared to check on that with Richard.

You were once asked to audition for the role

of Charles Manson in Tarantinos Once Upon a Time

in Hollywood, but passed on the opportunity.

Do you regret this decision?

A little bit?

Yeah, I do.

I think I regret it now.

Likely

Oh you're telling the truth.

Yeah.

It's terrible to live with regret.

Well, I don't regret it too much but I think

Not so sure.

Damn.

Every morning you wake up, you're like, Tarantino.

Could've gone in.

If you had accepted the role

do you think you would've played it cool around Brad pit?

No, I think I would've been very intimidated being

around Brad Pitt cuz he's pretty intimidating guy.

Don't you think?

Super famous.

Yeah. Yeah. I think I would be intimidated and.

Probably.

Yeah.

Charlie, do you find it offensive that someone

thought you would be a good fit as Charles Manson?

No, I don't think I do.

No, that's fine.

I, flattering right? Someone thinks I could do it.

Yeah. It's not like they were like,

Hey, you seem pretty fucking psycho.

It's more like, Hey, you seem like a great actor.

You seem like a good actor.

Would you like to pull it off?

Would you like to play this intense character profile?

Yeah. Yeah.

Just to add this in one thing that I'm offended about

in my own career is that one time I did receive an audition

for the character of Pennywise in It.

That's for real.

I'm offended for you.

That's so upsetting.

But also maybe they thought you had good range.

Yeah, you could be a bald male clown

that like eats babies.

Yeah. Did you audition though?

No, I did pass.

Yeah, I did.

Wasn't able to make it.

Yeah.

Many people have said

that your doppelganger is basketball player, Josh McRoberts.

Do you see the resemblance?

Yes, I do.

Do you think you like, you look more like Josh, this,

this sports player here or Charles Manson?

I think I look more

like Josh because we're probably the exact same height.

He's an NBA player.

I, I could have been an NBA player. That didn't check out.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Has anyone on the street ever thought

you were a different actor?

Well, I did leave a movie premier once

of a Sam Rockwell movie that I saw

and someone came up to me and said, great job in the movie.

And I was not in the movie.

So I thought it was pretty cool that I was like, oh

they thought it was Sam Rockwell.

It would be crazy if that was a lie.

Yeah. It would be very specific lie.

That would be, and then I,

But good liars are like that.

Yeah, totally.

You've said that when you first met your wife

you arm wrestled one

of your skinniest friends for dibs to talk to her.

Is that friend married?

Yes. I think he's married now.

If yes, do you think he's happy?

No, he is never happy.

Do you wonder if he ever envys your marriage?

Sure.

If you could change one thing about your wife

what would it be?

Oh, get these off me.

Her temper.

He's a little nervous.

Oh man.

Okay. What would she want to change about you?

Oh, she'd want me to be less flakey with

like scheduling things and get more done in that regard.

Wow. Yep.

Okay. Well it's nice that you know.

Yeah.

Yeah. So do you have the key to the kingdom?

You could just, you know, you can, anytime you wanna begin.

Yeah.

Sure, she would appreciate it.

Have you ever forgotten your anniversary?

I don't think so.

Okay. What's the worst thing that you did forget?

I forgot my mom's birthday once I felt pretty bad about

that.

Oh. Yeah. You did.

Yes, I did.

Yeah. Why, why would I make that up?

Yeah. I mean, you know, you would lie to you would

you would lie to cover it up.

Yeah.

Both your parents are esteemed musicians

and you play a few instruments yourself.

I'm sorry.

It says to do that voice.

I'm like, if you want me to, I don't know.

Would you say that you have good taste in music?

No.

That's the truth.

What is your top played song at the moment?

I genuinely don't know, but if you go

to my liked songs and Spotify, it's all my kids, music

all stuff that he picks and it's all like

[rhythmic beatboxing]

Yeah I fucking love that song.

You know that one?

Yeah.

Yeah. What are your thoughts on this man's music?

I don't know it.

You don't?

Because I'm old.

Oh, I love it.

Is that true?

Telling the truth?

Yeah. I'm just a little outta touch.

I think I saw him maybe perform on SNL, but I don't recall

the songs.

And do you think you could pull off this man's outfit?

I do not.

I wish I could, but I do not.

Did you listen to this woman's music this year?

No.

Why not?

I don't know who it is.

You you're telling the truth, yeah me neither.

I'm telling the truth right? I'm I'm way out touch.

This. We're in a movie.

This is like best exotic Marigold hotel or whatever.

Yeah

Yeah, yeah.

It's between, but I, I assume I assume.

Yeah.

That she's very famous.

I'm sure. Final question.

At any point during this interview, did you lie?

And we didn't catch you?

No

You're lying.

Not likely.

Wow. That's all.

Is that it?

That's all I've got.

God I'm getting so nervous.

One time I left a game of mafia crying

because I was the mafia and they asked me

like one question and I just said, I'm the mafia.

And then I left.

Okay. Hi Jenny.

Hi.

Now we're gonna ask you questions to

calibrate this lie detector over here.

Just to see whether or not you're a dirty filthy liar.

Okay. Is your full name,

Jennifer Sarah Slate.

No.

Great. She's lying.

It's not.

It's just Jenny.

My heart's beating so fast.

I'm so scared.

It just seems like I'm lying but my, my real name is Jenny,

Sarah Slate. It's not Jennifer.

And she's telling the truth.

Okay.

I might be too hyper to do this.

I'm telling you I'm gonna fry this fucking thing.

We'll see. Are you from Milton, Massachusetts?

Yes.

Are you nervous?

Yes.

Would you like me to do this entire interview

in a Massachusetts accent?

Sure.

I'm not going to all right, Richard, are we ready?

We're ready.

We're calibrated? Okay.

You once said that you have a sixth sense

for when hot people walk in the room.

Be honest.

Did you sense anything when I walked in the room?

Did that six sense of yours ping up?

No, but I didn't know.

I

I don't know.

No, you felt nothing.

Are you sure about that?

I just, I hate this actually.

I thought it'd be really fun.

Yeah.

I really don't like it.

Yeah. You're in trouble.

I don't, I, when did I say that?

I don't remember saying that I had a sixth sense for when

hot people

Does she remember saying it?

It's questionable?

Yeah. The machine's going crazy.

I'm trying to think of

like who that would've even been about.

I'll let you off the hook.

You can pretend you didn't.

Yeah.

I don't think that, but when I saw you, I was like

oh, Charlie looks so handsome and that's not a lie.

Yeah, but you got butterflies.

Alright. Fine. But what do you feel when you see Richard?

Did you feel something when you saw Richard?

A little nervous.

Okay.

In 2016, you dropped an F bomb in your debut sketch of SNL.

I did.

Do you think about this moment a lot?

Not a lot.

So do you regret saying the F bomb on TV?

Yes, obviously.

She's telling the truth.

Telling truth.

Do you remember if you had to meet with Lorne after?

Yes.

Was he cool to you about it

or was he, was he, was he not nice about it when, Lorne?

Are there other options?

I mean, I don't think he was cool.

I think they were mad at me that I did that. Yeah.

But he is nice.

You're just a kid. Let it go, Lorne.

Yes. Yeah.

Okay. Give her a break.

He's nice.

Do you think I could have made it on SNL?

Yes.

If so, why?

Because you're very funny and you have lots of energy.

She's telling the truth?

Mm.

Come on. This thing is fucking crazy man.

You don't think I could do it?

I definitely do.

Liar.

That's not, I'm not lying.

Oh God, I would go to jail for so many things.

This, this thing is lying.

I don't think I could have done it.

You often mentioned that you smoke a lot of weed, now

that you have a child, do you still smoke every day?

No.

Questionable.

That's crazy.

I haven't smoked weed for three years.

I believe you. You're breaking the machine.

I'm telling you my, my energy is too much, for what this

thing is

You're destroying this machine.

This machine is like, was invented in like 1910.

How about once a week?

What? No. No, no, no, no.

Not that it's bad.

I just, I actually just don't smoke weed anymore.

If you find weed

in your daughter's room one day, will you confiscate it?

What does that mean, like throw it away?

Yeah. Will you like be like I'm taking this?

I don't think I would not without a conversation.

I think I'd be like, what are you smoking this out of?

Where'd you get it?

What strain is it?

Why do you do this?

What, what if she's three?

I think I'll just be like finish what you started.

Mommy take weed weed away.

Okay. You previously talked

about how your childhood home was haunted

and you could see ghosts.

Does this mean you still believe in ghosts?

Yes.

Have you ever been visited by a ghost that you recognized?

No.

That's the truth.

Okay. So we got the machine working now.

I'll go back to a few older questions.

That's fine.

Yeah. My heart's slowing down.

No, no it's fine.

Let me ask you about this.

Yeah.

If you're a ghost and you wanna freak a person out.

Yeah.

Why just like slide one coffee cup?

You know what I mean? or like.

I understand. Yeah.

You know why not, just go ahead and pick up a

kitchen knife and float it.

Float it around their face. I agree.

Yeah. The ghosts are real lazy.

Yeah. I mean, I think it would be fun

to be doing a haunting

but probably it would be best to be at eternal rest.

She telling the truth about that? Yeah.

Do you know who you would haunt?

Yeah. I'd haunt my husband, and if he ever got a new wife

I'd fucking stomp on his dick and rip off her boobs.

But that's what a ghost should.

That's what a ghost should do.

That's what a ghost should do.

You know?

What's all this, you know, moving an aerosol can.

Just hover over their bed.

Yeah. Gentle moaning, scare nobody.

Okay. When you were single, did you ever go on dating apps?

No.

She's telling the truth.

Okay. All right.

If you were single now, would you be on dating apps?

I guess I would eventually have to

but I would really hope to meet someone, you know

through the friend of a friend during a daytime event.

Okay. I believe that's the truth.

Which app would you go on?

J date.

Is that even a thing anymore?

I don't know.

You were your high school valedictorian

and then you went to an Ivy league college?

Yes.

So do you think it's fair to say

that you were smarter than most people in Hollywood?

No.

She's lying.

I'm lying?

Well, you probably are.

Well, you're lying.

She, she thinks

I think she thinks she is smarter.

Yeah. You think you're smarter?

You should think you're smarter.

You are smarter.

I don't go around being like smarter than you smarter than

you smarter than you.

What about most people in general?

Do I think I'm smarter than most people in general?

Like the people in general?

It's a yes or no question.

Do you think you're smarter than most people?

Go on and say yes.

I think you're smarter.

This thing's really itchy.

I, I think you're smarter than most people.

I feel too.

Would you say you're smarter than me?

No I don't, I don't say that. I wouldn't say that.

That's a lie.

This thing's fucking pumping.

You know? I'm,

You're definitely smarter than me.

That's not true.

If you're not smarter than me, you need help.

Okay. Famously you voice Marcel the shell with shoes on.

Yes.

Does it bother you when people ask you to do the voice?

Sometimes depending on like where like

you know where I am, but like not, you know

one on one in a private conversation.

Can we hear you do the voice?

Yes.

Oh yes. Oh okay.

Let's hear it.

Okay. I am currently taking a lie detector test and

it's definitely making me pretty nervous, but I'm gonna ride

it out.

That sounded like a lie.

Was that the truth?

She's telling the truth.

Okay. Jenny, did you enjoy being on a lie detector?

Yes.

That's not true.

Not true.

Probably not.

Jenny are you a pathological liar, and you

can't help but lie.

No.

That's, I think I'm, I mean, what's really sort

of frightening about this is like, I actually

think I'm trying to tell the truth

and then the machine which is basically like a suitcase.

The machine doesn't lie.

Do you worry

that you don't know what the truth is?

Sometimes.

Yeah. At any point during this interview, did you lie?

And we didn't catch you?

No.

Yeah, because we caught you lying a lot.

Yeah.

We caught you lying a great deal but the sad thing

is you weren't trying to lie.

I was, well, I mean, that's even worse,

but I really, first

of all, I, you don't like that crop of questions about

about you being funny enough to be on SNL.

Cuz certainly you are.

I didn't say funny enough, we just added that.

It just, it just said you think I could be on it.

That's why you have to be funny.

You can't just like be good at acting.

Well, I think we're all done.

Jenny, you did great, don't ever join the CIA.

Alright.

It's you know, this is not your thing.

Thank you so much.