Taika Waititi & Rhys Darby Take Lie Detector Tests

[Off Camera] Mark.

Ah, [bleep].

Every time.

[electric buzzing]

[Producer] Taika, Rhys.

We've brought you here today to take a lie detector test.

Oh.

Aww.

Really?

I thought this was gonna be another award.

Yet another award for me.

I was hoping for a award.

An award?

It's an award. Oh, Sorry.

[Producer] One of you will be hooked up to the machine.

Okay.

[Producer] While the other one asks the questions.

Who wants to go first?

[Catherine] Round.

[Rhys] What you have to go through

What you have to through to not get an Emmy.

[Rhys laughs]

Trying to- trying to play it cool,

but I'm actually nervous now.

Thing whenever I lie, I get a little

my stomach gets all trembly.

Cool. Do I keep my arms like this?

Yes, you can rest your hands.

Okay. Questions for Taika from Rhys.

Here we go.

Taika! Yes.

I'm going to ask you a few questions to

get a baseline for the machine.

Is your name Taika David Cohen?

Yes.

Are you from Aotearoa, New Zealand?

Yes. I sure am and proud of it.

Am I?

Yes.

Cheers.

Are you ready to take this lie detector test?

I mean, will that have any bearing on the thing?

I don't want to, but yes, I'm ready.

All right. We'll go with 'maybe'.

[laughter]

During the 2005 Oscars,

you pretended to be asleep

when they announced your category.

You told all the other nominees to pretend to

sleep as well, right?

That's correct.

Were you angry they all bailed on the prank?

No.

Lie.

Mm. Interesting.

I don't- okay well fine.

I'm not someone who cares about that kind of thing.

So I got all the attention.

You didn't win in 2005

and your fellow nominees left you hanging on the prank,

but you did win an Oscar in 2020.

Would you say you had the last laugh after all?

[laughter]

I didn't write it.

[Rhys] I don't know. Well- Yes or no!

Sorry.

Yes.

No, but I feel like I've got more laughs to come.

That's just the tip of the laughberg.

I love it.

The laughberg.

So you needed an award to validate you?

Yes.

That is true.

Yeah. Okay. Thought so.

Be honest- Don't we all?

Did you practice an acceptance speech before,

in case you won?

Yes. I practiced a little bit

in the four minutes beforehand,

but I was trying to make something up.

You can watch it! I don't know what I'm saying.

Must watch that.

No, I'm just kidding.

I've seen that.

I'm not lying.

You write, direct, act and produce.

So would you say you are a quadruple threat?

Yes, but also I do more.

Yeah. It's not just that.

There's more.

That's not all I do in my life.

Exactly. That's what I was thinking.

It's a myriad of talents.

So would you say that as an actor

you have leading man looks.

I don't know. You tell me?

[whispers] I think so.

I agree.

That's a yes.

Oh, and now that you've said yes,

and I thought you would,

can you elaborate why?

Mm.

I don't think we need to.

I don't think we need, it's

like asking the wind why it blows.

It just is. A giraffe,

why is your neck so tall?

As the ancient saying goes, the giraffe does not answer

when you ask, 'Why is your neck so long?'.

Exactly.

Here's one though.

Do you think you're as handsome as this man?

Timothée?

Tim?

No, I actually don't.

I do think I'm handsome,

but I think Timothée Chalamet is more handsome.

He is being truthful.

Okay.

I mean, I've said it before.

I've said it many times.

Yeah.

Oh, here's one for you,

Taika. It's no surprise.

What do you think about my looks?

I think you're dashing.

I think you're a very good looking man.

Aw.

Yes.

Aw, thank you.

This is nerve wracking

for the questioneer.

You've said this about improvising,

'I figure out who's good at it and who's not

and only allow the people who are good at it

to do it.'

[laughs]

Well, that's true. Yeah?

Yeah, because not everyone's good at it.

With regards to the improvising,

is this man good at it?

Chris is incredible at improvising, yes.

Okay.

How about him?

He doesn't improvise as much.

Well, he didn't need to.

He's a very good actor.

He obviously doesn't need to.

So good with his words. Greatest actor in the world.

Doesn't need to improvise.

And finally, how about him?

Rhys Darby

is,

in my opinion,

one of the greatest improvisers

I've ever known.

And I've been in the scenes;

I've been in the trenches with him to prove it.

[whispers] Awesome.

That's me.

You are telling the truth.

Oh, thank God.

When it comes to my friends,

I always tell the truth.

You were also recently named in the Time 100

Most Influential People of 2022.

Yeah. That's just up until May.

So that's January until May, influencing people.

Influencing can also have a dark a connotation.

Let's not forget that.

That's right.

That is true.

Do you think that you're influential?

Influential?

That's not the word.

That's the word. That is the word!

[laughs]

Yes, I do think I'm influential, yeah.

I'm not sure if I'm influential in the good way.

Sometimes the people will be like,

like Saturday night people like,

Oh, oh no, he's such a bad influence.

Yeah.

Do you think you influence me?

I think I inspire you.

Truth.

[laughter]

What an arse!

[Rhys] Oh my God. Okay.

I don't think that, Rhys.

No, it's all right. It's fine.

I know you don't care what I -

you know about my opinion.

Or that, you know, wake up and go,

what would Taika do?

Okay. We met in 2002 at Edinburgh

during the Fringe festival.

That's actually not true.

That's not true, is it?

No, we met in New Zealand before that

in the standup circuit.

And we happened to have shows in Edinburgh at the same time.

We already knew each other.

That's right.

Did you actually watch my show?

Yes. I watched your show three times.

Oh, wow.

That is true.

[Rhys laughs]

There's nothing else to do.

[laughter]

It says here - do you remember what it was?

The show?

[laughter]

Well, like most comedy shows,

it was a list of jokes and you said them.

I mean, I'm trying to remember some of them.

Guys, this was all so many years ago.

Yeah. I don't remember what the show was.

It's 20 years ago.

I know don't remind me.

How dare you.

It's 20 years ago and you try and

get between us, drive a wedge between us

and our friendship.

The thing of I remember his show

or if I went to see his show 20 years ago.

Goddamn, I did.

Have you seen my recent special, Mystic Time Bird?

No.

Okay. So-

[wheezing laughter]

You said you didn't do any research to play

Blackbeard in Our Flag Means Death.

Do you think maybe you should have?

[Taika laughs]

No.

I'm celebrated for that role.

Okay.

[laughter]

No, I'm celebrated for that role.

So it's just proof you don't have to do any research.

As soon as I read, 'Basically nothing is known

about this guy and it's all speculation.'

I was like, well, what's the point?

Exactly. Never gonna get it right.

Why not just make my own version.

I took sailing lessons to prepare for my part.

Do you think that was an overkill?

[laughter]

I don't think you needed to,

but I do appreciate that you did.

Yeah.

Did you lie at any point during this lie detector test

and we didn't catch you?

No. I told the truth to my knowledge.

I told the truth as, as much as I could.

Great. Well, thanks for coming here today.

I'm just adding that now.

[laughter]

All the best with the career.

Thank you so much. Cheers.

My biceps are natural, but they're actually quite big.

[laughter]

I'm gonna ask you a few questions to

calibrate the lie detector.

You ready? Yep.

[Taika] Is your full name Rhys

Montague Darby? Yes.

Were you born on March the 21st?

Yes.

Didn't say what year though, did I?

Nope. 1982.

No.

I wish.

Did you star in Flight of the Conchords?

Yes.

Are you nervous?

A little bit.

Lies!

I mean, sorry.

I won't- I'll save that one.

We're calibrated.

Ready? Mm-hm.

[Taika] Okay. Let's go.

Your character on Our Flag Means Death

had a midlife crisis and became a pirate.

Have you ever had a midlife crisis?

Hmm.

Are you sending shocks to me or is that just me?

I don't think so.

I think I'm- maybe a little bit?

Yeah.

Do you think you're in the middle of a

midlife crisis in real life, right now?

Um, I feel like I've moved on from it.

Me too. I mean,

I feel like I was, there was a small little period

but it wasn't like, it's also

how do you know it's midlife

could be in the first third still.

If I, well, if, if it's exactly midlife

then oh, I've got a long way to go.

Yeah. Oh, that's good.

Do you think you will one day?

You planning on having one?

I might have another one.

I'd like to have another one.

I still haven't got the 911.

911. He's talking about the car by the way.

Yeah. The Porsche.

Yeah, you're not talking about the 911

midlife crisis.

Does this look like a midlife crisis to you?

No, he looks cool.

He looks cool.

[Rhys] I'd say that guy's cool. Yeah.

Do you think he looks cool?

What about this?

No, that's another cool guy.

Couple of cool dudes.

You starred in a video recently with Prince Harry.

I know this cause I watched it.

Would you say he's more handsome than his brother?

I think they're different.

They're both handsome in their own way.

In some ways, yes.

Do you think he's a good actor?

Yes.

I thought so too.

Did he choose his own wardrobe?

I think so? Yeah. Parts of it.

So he chose that Girl Dad shirt, do you think?

Yeah, I think that was his choice, yeah.

I like that about him. Yeah.

We met in Edinburgh, you remember,

'cause you asked me and I confirmed it.

Do you remember the name of the group I was in at the time?

The Humourbeasts.

That's correct.

Doesn't even need to tell, you know,

don't need to tell me that Catherine, it's true.

I've made more than 20 films and TV series.

Have you watched all of them?

Most of them. There you go.

I think so. That's a no.

[laughter]

You performed some of your own stunts

in Our Flag Means Death, so would you say

you have a lot in common with this man?

I wouldn't say a lot.

Very little really.

The odd stunt maybe.

Yeah. Oh. And also he's really into fighter jets.

He can fly them

and one of my specials was called I'm A Fighter Jet.

So I guess in some ways.

He could fly you.

Yeah.

Would you say you're a better runner than him?

That man.

I mean, you know, he's got a famous run.

It's full on.

Choose your words carefully here, mate.

He's an incredible runner.

Yeah. I mean, no I'm not. He's top of his game in

the running department.

Yeah, you're right. I'm not as good as him.

We're both Kiwis in Hollywood.

Duh. True.

Do you feel obligated

to support other Kiwis?

Yeah, I guess in some ways, I mean, you know

we're a family and if I get a knock on the door

and it's a Kiwi who needs a couch,

I'll probably go, oh yeah.

I wouldn't.

No? No.

It depends on the Kiwi. Yeah.

There's some crazy Kiwis.

That's crazy, to be honest. That's true. I mean I don't

wanna put that out there that you can,

anyone can, just knock on my door

and you're gonna get a couch.

That is not the message that we're putting out there.

Don't even think about coming to my house.

If you come to mine, I'll send you around to Taika's.

I'll set the coyotes on you.

[Taika] Do all Kiwis in Hollywood know each other?

Pretty much, or know - definitely know

of each other and have seen each other once or twice,

[Taika] if not regularly. Yeah.

Do you know this woman?

Yes, of course.

What was her name again?

Melanie Lynskey.

I think I've met her once. Briefly.

Well, there you go. So, I mean,

we don't hang out with each other.

And she's very busy.

People who leave New Zealand usually

do so to get away from New Zealanders.

[laughter]

How about her?

Now I know Jacinda better than Melanie, yeah.

That's right. That's our Prime Minister.

I know- I know her.

Not, not very well, but.

Yeah. She's cool.

Big Jacinda fan.

What about him?

Yes. That's uh- that's Peter.

Sir Peter.

Jackson, of course.

I mean, I don't, I've only met him once briefly too.

In an airport.

But of course everyone knows him.

He's a legend.

You often improvised the band meetings

on Flight of the Conchords.

Is that correct?

Yes.

Truth. Yeah.

You, Bret, and Jermaine would sometimes laugh so much

that you had to shoot your coverage separately.

Yes. That's true.

Do I ever make you laugh that hard?

Yes.

Truth.

[laughter]

Thank God. Lucky son of a gun.

Okay. You host a podcast

called The Cryptid Factor. Oh yeah.

Is it fair to say you're obsessed

with supernatural creatures?

Um.

I don't know about supernatural.

Yeah. It's- that's the wording

[Rhys] is not quite right. Yeah.

Because I would say the abonim-, abomin-,

abonable-, abominable

The Yeti The Yeti

[laughter]

Is not supernatural.

No, you could classify that,

[Taika] if you want to. It's mythical.

Yeah, mythical, you know, they're cryptids.

They're paranormal creatures that some people see,

other people won't have a bar of it.

But yeah. I'm really into them.

Do you truly believe in things like Yetis and chipa-,

cab-, cabra-

Chupacabras.

Abracadabra. El Chupacabra.

The Goat Sucker, yes.

Very unsolved.

I met a few goat suckers in my time.

Do you think they'll be discovered in our lifetime?

Yes. Yeah, they are getting discovered now and again.

The Chupacabra, for example- Chewbacca?

No, the Chupacabra.

You think Chewbacca's real?

Do you think Chewbacca is real?

Well no, he's a fictional character

but he's based on the Sasquatch,

which is real.

He's telling the truth.

The Sasquatch is real? Cool.

Yep. You found that out today.

So, last question.

Rhys. Yep.

My good friend.

Did you lie at any point during this lie detector test

and we didn't catch you?

I don't believe I did.

No, I was very confident

and I was happy with how things went there

and... yeah.

We don't like truth tellers around Hollywood.

[nervous laughter]

You failed! I'm out!

Great. Well, yeah, I mean it's not in

New Zealanders nature really, to lie.

No.

No, we're very honest people. That's not true.

They're liars. We're all criminals.

I mean the two of us have been lying our whole lives

and we are still here and getting away with it.

[cackling]

Equipment doesn't do anything to us.

We're Kiwis!

Sorry Catherine.

But besides that,

yeah, it was fun. Yeah.

Cool. Can I keep the kit?