Danny DeVito & Lucy DeVito Take Lie Detector Tests

Oh, my God!

Oh, sound was deafening.

Oh my God.

Okay, here we are.

[Tester] We've brought you here

to take a lie detector test.

Yes. Mm hm.

[Tester] One of you will be hooked up to the machine,

while the other one will ask the questions.

Really weird because people, especially from,

remember I'm Italian from New Jersey,

to be in a room like this, it's like.

Yeah, you would never put that on, right?

No, terrified.

You'd rather-- It's like,

I have a tough time wearing a wire.

Because you know,

you get caught wearing a wire in New Jersey.

The implications of that.

You're in the Meadowlands.

You're a rat.

[Tester] Danny, are you ready

to be in the hot seat first?

Whoa, whoa, what you, what?

[machine clicking]

This is gonna go over your abdomen.

Reach around you.

Thank you.

[groaning] Okay.

[Lucy] Good thing we're having pizza after this.

This is serious.

[all laughing]

[Danny sighs]

[Tester] Done.

[Danny] To calibrate the machine,

I'm gonna ask you some straightforward questions.

Please answer honestly.

Okay.

Is your name Daniel Michael DeVito Jr.

Yes.

You have a junior?

My father is Daniel DeVito Sr.

I guess so. So I'm a junior.

But his middle name isn't Michael.

I'm trying to tell all the truth.

It's just funny to think of you as a junior.

Anyway.

Did you star in Space Jam?

Yes.

[Lucy] Are you my father?

Yes.

Wow.

Are you ready to take a lie detector test?

Yes.

You have three kids.

Yes, I do.

Would you say I'm your favorite?

Tell the truth.

I don't have any favorite kids.

[Lucy] No, that's not the right answer.

I have, I, I, yes.

Am I, are you my favorite?

Mm hm. Yes, you're my favorite.

Was that a lie?

Inconclusive.

Well, I mean like you have kids,

when you have kids you love all your kids.

You don't have favorites.

It's like asking me...

Yeah, okay, go ahead.

Do you think that this Batman...

Yes.

Is my favorite.

Is better than-- This is my favorite.

This is Michael Keaton.

He was the Batman when I was the Penguin.

Yeah, so we shouldn't even show the other Batmen.

No, I don't even know what they--

You don't even wanna look at all of their faces.

I don't know what they look like

because they're behind the mask.

Well, when they're Bruce Wayne, they take off the mask.

Oh, right.

But I don't, they're not, this is the Batman for me.

Keaton's the one. Yeah, Michael.

Okay, now I have another question for you.

Mm hm.

[Lucy] What about this Penguin?

Oh, Colin. Mm hm.

I love Colin.

He's a terrific guy.

My Penguin was better.

[Lucy] Oh. [laughing]

Was that the truth?

You were telling the truth.

It certainly was. It is the truth.

[both laughing]

In my opinion.

At least you believe it to be.

It's my opinion, yeah.

Good man though, Colin's a good guy.

You starred in this band's music video, Steal My Girl.

The boys.

These are my boys.

Is One Direction your favorite boy band?

The best boy band ever.

You know what I mean?

Listen...

Do you know a lot of One Direction songs?

Steal My Girl is the only song I know.

Do you, would you say you know more songs from this band?

What is that band?

Who the hell is that?

Uh, let's see.

Who is it?

This is NSYNC.

That's NSYNC?

[Lucy] This is NSYNC.

[Danny] Oh.

I grew up with these guys.

You, that's your band? Yes.

Is that, what's his name?

Justin. Yeah.

[Lucy] Mm hm.

I thought it looked like a young Justin Timberlake.

It is. Yeah.

Yeah, without the corn rows and the tattoos.

Does he have corn rows and tattoos?

No, that's Post Malone, I think.

Oh, that's Post Malone, okay.

[Lucy] I don't know what you're talking about.

Okay. Anyway.

Now what about this band?

[Danny humming]

Who the hell is that?

I have no idea.

You know who that is.

I think that's BTS?

BTS. Is that right?

I like the suits.

I tell you one thing I like about this picture,

look at the pleats in those pants.

Huh?

Amazing.

Look at that.

[Lucy] That's a good pleat.

Yeah, they know how to do it.

Mm hm. Mm hm.

Okay. Okay.

Very nice.

I'm like striking out musically here.

Moving on. Okay.

Seems like you're saying a lot of truthful things.

It's about time.

Do you consider this man to be your good friend?

Yes.

[Lucy] Is it true that you once saved his life?

Yes.

I once-- How did you save his life?

Well, he picked up a snake, and it bit him on the hand,

and I sucked the poison out of his hand.

Is that true?

The machine is saying you're lying.

I actually made that story up.

[both laughing]

Okay, so I was lying.

All those talk shows.

Oh yeah, I tell that on the talk shows.

But you know, there's an old joke

that I probably can't tell here

because that's like, guy gets bit

in a certain other place by a snake.

And he's with his friend, and he says,

you gotta suck the poison out.

And the guy says, no way, baby.

You're a dead man.

I ain't sucking the poison out of that.

I've never heard that one before.

Well, you know, some things I don't tell you.

Your It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

co-star Glenn Howerton stated that the cast

was offered to be in an episode of Game of Thrones.

Is that true?

I haven't any idea.

They don't tell me everything.

Is that true? True.

See, there you go.

Okay, you've hosted SNL five times.

Five times.

Do you think you're the best host they've ever had?

I'm pretty damn up there in the top five.

Yeah. Yeah.

Well, I mean, I had a good time doing that.

But I am a five timer, which they call five...

Do you have a jacket?

I don't know if, I might have a jacket.

I know they gave me a clock.

[Lucy] That's cool.

Yeah, like a really nice clock.

It says five timer on it, or whatever it says.

I'm in the club.

[Lucy] If you were asked to host SNL again,

would you do it? In a second.

Love New York. Yeah.

Love being in the, you know.

Yeah.

Going to the X.

The center stage. Yeah.

You know, I'm a ham.

That's true. Is that true?

Machine says your telling truth.

It's absolutely true.

Since you've hosted SNL so many times,

what do you think about this man leaving?

Who is that?

That's Pete Davidson.

Oh, Pete Davidson.

Oh, very, very talented guy.

I don't have an opinion about it

because I don't watch Saturday Night Live

as much as you know like I used to.

[Lucy] Got it.

When I was on it all the time.

Yeah.

You rose to fame in the '70s and '80s.

Do you think that that was a more fun time to be famous?

No.

I don't know.

It's hard to say about the being--

[Lucy] A lot more fun?

[both laughing]

It's me, smoking a stogie.

I mean, you know, listen,

I don't smoke stogies much anymore.

I think everything in moderation is okay.

But I do think you should bring back that scarf hat look.

Yeah, I like the beret.

Okay, I have one final question.

[Danny] Thank you.

Did you lie at any point during this lie detector test

and we didn't catch you?

No.

That's true.

Eh!

I told the truth. You did it.

I tell you what, I did it.

I told you exactly what come outta my mouth was the truth.

Okay, now do I get to you questions?

You smoke pot?

[Lucy laughing]

Lucy, gotta hook you up to the wires.

It's a lie detector, it's not shock treatment.

At least it's not--

We could be laying on this table

and have the the things on our head now.

I mean, who the hell knows what you guys

are gonna put us through.

Lay down, get shock therapy.

Okay. Thank you.

Well, we're gonna ask a couple questions

to collaborate the machine.

I think it's calibrate.

Oh, calibrate, right okay.

I'm sorry.

Is your full name Lucy Chet DeVito?

Yes.

[Danny] Were you born in Los Angeles, California?

Yes.

[Danny] Are you my oldest child?

Yes.

Are you nervous?

Uh, a little bit

[Danny] Little bit.

Not too bad actually.

Not bad, right. Yeah.

Are we ready?

Calibrated?

Okay, let's get started.

You called your mother and I your gurus.

Is it safe to say you look up to us?

Yes.

That's true.

Have you seen all of my movies?

No.

[Lucy laughing]

Sorry.

When were you gonna tell me?

Well, I mean like, you've been in a lot of movies.

I don't know, there's a lot of movies.

What about my TV shows?

All of 'em.

No. No.

I haven't.

Does that make me a bad daughter?

I don't know. No, no, no.

No.

You've seen things I've acted in.

Yeah, yeah, I have.

I've seen a few.

Is it true that you don't tell people

your last name on first dates?

That is true.

[Danny] Hm.

Ah, I have though, I have.

Right? That's true.

If it's a good date I have.

Okay. Yeah.

But you usually don't.

No. No.

I like to keep it anonymous.

[Danny] I get it.

It's a, you know. Yeah.

It comes with some weight. Yeah.

People know the name.

Yeah, but it's not because you're embarrassed of me.

No. No, okay.

No, it's more like,

then if they're not cool people,

then they just wanna talk about you.

There you go.

That's not what I'm there for.

You know what I'm saying, guys?

She's telling the truth.

She's telling the truth, I get that.

And I understand that too.

I mean, I never say you're my daughter.

I'm only kidding.

[both laughing]

Thanks, thanks.

No, 'cause that would really mess up your game too.

Right. Mm hm.

Have I ever embarrassed you in front of a crush?

Yes.

Yeah. Hmm.

This one person who I won't name came over.

And you hung out with us,

and I didn't want you to hang out with us.

[Danny] Whoa.

You were in the kitchen.

I wanted you to leave the kitchen.

I am like such a bully.

Not really, you were really nice, yeah.

I was nice to him? Yeah, you were really nice.

[Danny] Whoever it was.

But it was a crush and you wanted me out of there.

Yeah.

You know, like my sister, my older sister,

she used to give me money to leave.

I should've done that.

See, now you know.

Now I know.

[Danny] Okay, you fork over a few bucks.

We don't live together anymore, but you know.

That's true.

But if I'm ever around and you want me to leave.

I'll just give you some money.

Slip me a few bucks.

Yeah. I'm out.

That's why I keep change on me to pay you off.

Folding money. Yes.

Yeah, okay.

Not change, not change.

I meant change like you know.

[Danny] I got you.

Like dollar billers, fives, 10s.

I leave in a second.

A $10. 20, 20 and I'd be out.

I'd be like a ghost.

You wouldn't even see me go.

I'd be able to disappear.

20 bucks, I'm out.

And I know, as soon as you hit me with the 20

I know to leave.

Okay, I'm gonna do it.

Okay, I'm gonna keep it around.

Have you ever had a relationship that I didn't know about?

Yes.

Plenty, huh?

[Lucy laughing]

So would you say that you're really confident in yourself?

Yeah.

Is that true? True.

Are you confident enough to pull off this look?

Oh yeah.

[Danny] What is it?

Oh, this is the feather boa.

Oh.

I think I could rock this.

[Danny] Yeah you can.

You give me the good color palette.

So we can pull off color.

That's my rainbow boa. Yeah.

But I don't know if I could do it better than you.

I mean, this is pretty awesome.

In our new series, Little Demon, you play Chrissy,

a teenager who discovers her father is Satan.

And you have demonic powers.

If you could have superpowers, would you want 'em?

Mm hm. Yeah, absolutely.

[Lucy] Absolutely.

She's telling the truth, right?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I'd like to read minds.

I would like to be invisible.

I would love to fly.

I would like to, I wouldn't do it often,

but Chrissy does get to set things on fire with her hands.

And I would do that as like a cool party trick.

And also soul swap.

[Lucy] Oh yeah, soul swap, soul swap.

That's cool. That is cool.

It's like real Freaky Friday.

Mm. Mm hm.

Good, yeah, yeah.

If you found out that I was really Satan, would you love me?

Yeah, I think I would be proud.

Thank you. You're welcome.

[Danny] So sweet.

It's true.

The machine says true.

The machine says...

I know, I know that.

Okay, final question.

Did you lie at any point during this lie detector test

and we didn't catch you?

No.

I'm telling the truth.

I tell you the truth, this is, it's amazing.

I, I, I, this is why I love working with her.

She's honest. That's right.

Really honest.

But I will take the 20 bucks to leave.

I will, yeah.

I'll give you the, I'll get my purse.

It's in the corner.

Okay. Okay.

[somber music]