Terry Crews Takes a Lie Detector Test

Does powerful pecs ever hurt this?

Oh yeah, you can break the machine.

I mean, would I...

Yeah.

Affect any of the answers?

Ooh.

[clicking]

[bang]

[Interviewer] Is your name Terry Crews?

Yes.

[Interviewer] Do you play the character Terry

on Brooklyn Nine-Nine?

Yes I do.

[Interviewer] Is Terry ready

to take this lie detector test?

I'm ready.

[Interviewer] Is that true?

We are ready.

[Interviewer] Then let's get started.

[bang]

First off, let's start with some questions

about your life.

Would you say you put a lot of effort

into the upkeep of your physique?

Yes, definitely.

[Interviewer] Do you think you'd be able

to go a full week without working out?

No.

[Interviewer] Would you say that you like working out,

more than you like playing with your kids?

Yes.

[Interviewer] Is that true?

It is.

[sigh]

Damn. You will pay for it.

Damn.

They're gonna see this?

[Interviewer] Do you sweat a lot when you workout?

Big time, yes.

[Interviewer] Do you still use Old Spice?

Yes.

[Interviewer] Is that true?

That is true.

[Interviewer] That true, Terry?

That's true, that's true.

I still use Old Spice.

I don't have a deal with them anymore,

but I still use it.

[Interviewer] Have you ever tried using Axe?

Never.

Never.

[Interviewer] You learned how to play the flute

as a child, right?

Yes.

[Interviewer] Do you think you'd win

in a flute-off against this woman?

Lizzo?

No.

[Interviewer] Is that true?

All true.

[Interviewer] Is it fair to say

that this man is a serious flute hater?

Yes.

[Interviewer] Why is that?

He doesn't think it's a real instrument,

and he doesn't like the way the flute sounds in music.

But it's really started all the blaxploitation movies,

all the stuff you know, all the jazz you know.

Remember the theme from Taxi?

Do you remember that?

[Interviewer] Is it true that you were once

a courtroom sketch artist?

Yes.

[Interviewer] Do you ever sketch your costars

when they're not looking?

Yes.

[Interviewer] Oh, who do you sketch the most?

I tend to sketch Stephanie Beatriz the most,

because she's right across from my desk

on Brooklyn Nine-Nine,

and I can see her from right across the room,

and she doesn't know.

[Interviewer] Would you be embarrassed

if she saw one of your drawings?

No, because I'm pretty good.

[Interviewer] Is that true?

Yes, yes it is.

[Interviewer] You're pretty confident.

Yeah.

[Interviewer] You love to bake on your cheat days,

is that correct?

Yes I do.

[Interviewer] Would you ever consider

having your own baking show?

Yes I would, I would definitely do that.

[Interviewer] If you were in a baking competition,

do you know what dish you'd bake?

Oh yeah.

I would make a bread pudding like you wouldn't believe.

[Interviewer] And do you think you'd win?

I'd win it.

And it would look good too.

Like it would be an artistic bread pudding.

[Interviewer] Have you ever watched the show,

The Great British Bake Off?

Yes I have.

[Interviewer] That ever make you cry?

No, not at all.

[Interviewer] Why not, are you a monster?

No.

It's just that, you know,

I don't feel a lot for bakers,

so that's where I'm at right now.

[Interviewer] Thank you for your honesty.

Not a lot of empathy for bakers.

[Interviewer] Okay, don't love a baker.

You fast every day until 2:00 PM, is that right?

Yes.

[Interviewer] Would you say that your diet

and workout is more intense than this man's?

Mark Wahlberg?

Oh definitely.

Ha.

Way more intense than that.

[Interviewer] You're sure?

I'm sure, I'm positive.

I don't think he could last with me.

[Interviewer] Do you think you could outlift him?

Yes.

[Interviewer] Do you think you could lift him?

Definitely.

[Interviewer] And what about this man?

Do you think you could outlift him?

Yes?

[Interviewer] That didn't sound very true.

It's not false, there's no indication

that it's true or not.

[Interviewer] Is that the whole truth, Terry?

You know, first of all, can I say something?

We have different workouts.

There are things that he's better than me at,

and there's things that I'm better at him at.

And certain exercises, I know he would be

much better than me at,

but there are certain things that I could do,

that I know he couldn't do,

so that's where that yes came from.

[Interviewer] You seem defensive.

Because I love him.

[Interviewer] Let's move on.

Let's talk about your career.

[bang]

Your family had a reality show in 2010,

called The Family Crews.

Did you watch other shows in preparation for that?

No.

[Interviewer] So you never kept up with the Kardashians?

They weren't even on when we were on at the same time.

I'm that old.

[Interviewer] Would you say that you're the Kris Jenner

of your household?

No, my wife is the Kris Jenner of our household.

I'm the Brody Jenner of my household.

[Interviewer] Do you think you work harder

than Kris Jenner?

No, I don't.

I think she's got some major, major plans.

She knows what to do, I love Kris.

I follow in Kris's footsteps, for real.

[Interviewer] Is that true, Barry?

All true.

[Interviewer] Is there anyone who works harder

than Kris Jenner?

No.

Every time I see her, she's working.

It's all work, 24 hours.

She sleeping and filming herself sleep.

I'm telling you, it's no joke.

[Interviewer] On the show,

Watch What Happens Live,

you said that White Chicks 2 was definitely happening,

but then Marlon Wayans posted on Instagram,

saying that there would be no White Chicks 2,

so let's settle this once and for all, Terry.

Will there be a White Chicks 2?

This is not fair.

This is not fair.

Can I tell you what happened?

I ran into Shawn.

We were at a store,

and I said, Hey man, how you doing?

He says, Hey, how you doing?

And I said, What's going on?

He said, You know what?

We're working on White Chicks 2,

and I'm like, Really?

And Shawn's like, Yeah.

And I'm like, Yeah, okay, all right.

So then I start doing press,

and everybody keeps asking me about White Chicks 2,

and I'll go, Yeah, it's going on,

because I got the okay from Shawn.

And then later on Marlon's like,

What's Terry talking about?

Marlon put the pin in that whole idea,

so technically I was right,

from what I heard.

But factually, I was wrong

by what was actually going on.

So let's give Shawn this test.

[breathing heavily]

I've been waiting to get that out

for a long, long time.

I ain't gonna lie, that was a long time.

[Interviewer] We appreciate that.

That seemed tough.

Okay, real talk, do you like one

of the Wayans more than the others?

Ooh.

Yes.

[Interviewer] Will you tell us which one?

Keenen.

Keenen Ivory Wayans.

He's the one.

[Interviewer] Makes sense.

As the host of America's Got Talent,

would you say you have an eye for talent?

Yes.

[Interviewer] So you never regretted any

of your golden buzzers, then?

Never, ever.

[Interviewer] If you were auditioning

for America's Got Talent,

do you know what your talent would be?

I would paint a mural of myself shirtless.

I would be shirtless in the mural,

and I would have my shirt off as I was painting

the shirtless mural.

[Interviewer] And would Simon Cowell give you the ax?

Yes he would,

but I'd keep painting, because they couldn't stop me.

[Interviewer] Okay.

Let's move onto pop culture.

In the 2019 Oscars, you wore a harness

on the red carpet.

Do you think you wore your harness better

than this man?

Timothee Chalamet?

Yes.

[Interviewer] Is that true?

That is true.

I did.

Listen, I like Timothee, I think he's awesome,

but I wore the hell out of that harness.

That was hot though.

It was hot.

[Interviewer] I agree.

Would you consider yourself to be a fashionable man?

I do.

[Interviewer] Would your say your more fashionable

than your friend, Adam Sandler?

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

I know that's right.

You're very confident.

Yeah, I mean, ain't no waving on that one.

My heart didn't even palpitate once.

[laughter]

[Interviewer] You've been married for 30 years.

Yes I have.

[Interviewer] Do you consider yourself

to be a good husband?

When in the marriage?

[laughs]

First of all, can I explain?

The first few years of our marriage,

I was not a good husband.

I was very selfish, I was like

what you would call a toxic male.

I thought that I was more valuable than my wife,

and she showed me the light of my ways,

and she let me know that I was wrong,

and I had to change, and I did.

So now, I would say I'm a good husband.

[Interviewer] Would you say she's a great wife?

She's always been a great wife, always.

There was never one time when she was not a great wife.

[Interviewer] Do you still do household chores?

Yes.

[Interviewer] When?

Last week, shoot, two days ago.

[Interviewer] What did you do?

You know what I love to do?

I love cleaning the kitchen.

There's nothing more satisfying

than the counters shiny and spotless.

I am really, really ADD when it comes to that,

and I love cleaning my kitchen.

It's a very therapeutic thing for me.

[Interviewer] Do you and your wife text

when you're not together?

Oh yes, all the time.

[Interviewer] Do you ever send emojis as innuendos?

I do.

[Interviewer] What's your go-to?

It's my face going like this.

That's true.

You know the new ones in the iPhone?

I'll always send her like,

it's all I could.

[Interviewer] One of the rooms in your office

has Star Wars wallpaper.

Have you seen all the most recent films?

All of them.

[Interviewer] Did you enjoy The Rise of Skywalker?

Oh, y'all going deep.

Damn, you're going deep.

I love Star Wars.

This was not my favorite one.

[Interviewer] Was it your least favorite one?

Oh man.

Yes.

He's being very truthful.

[Interviewer] We appreciate your honesty.

Did you lie at any point during this interview,

and we didn't catch you?

No, not at all.

He's passed, he's not lied once.

[Interviewer] All right, that's a wrap.

Oh my god, get this thing off me.

[bang]