Big Bird Takes a Lie Detector Test

[Interviewer] Big Bird,

today you'll be taking a lie detector test.

Oh great, what's a lie detector test?

[Interviewer] I'll be asking you a series of questions

and we have a few guest interviewers here to help.

What, what is this? Oh, oh,

hi, Elmo. Hi,

Cookie Monster. Hi, hi.

Hi, Big Bird. Hi, Abby.

Good luck.

[Abby] Okay.

Gee, thank you. The truth will set you free.

Okay, I don't know what that means, but all right.

[plugs clicking] [electricity zapping]

[electronics boom]

[Interviewer] Is your real name Big Bird?

Me, I thought you were talking to Barry.

Yes, my name's Big Bird.

[Interviewer] Do you live on Sesame Street?

Yes, I do.

[Interviewer] Are you ready to take

this lie detector test?

Sure, yeah, mm-hmm.

[Interviewer] Let's get started.

[screen booms]

How's he doing so far, Barry?

Perfect, just perfect.

[Interviewer] Eight-foot two.

Pretty tall, wouldn't you say?

Yes.

[Interviewer] You ever been asked to model?

No, but I've been asked to reach things on high shelves.

[Interviewer] Do you often get asked to play basketball?

No, not really.

[Interviewer] Do you think you'd be good at basketball

if you played?

Oh, gee, I guess if I practice a lot,

I might get better at it.

I might get good, yeah.

[Interviewer] Do you think you'd be better at basketball

than this man, Barry Bird?

I don't know.

Looks like he's actually maybe a basketball player

so I'm gonna go with, this Bird's better.

[Interviewer] Do you ever Google yourself, Big Bird?

No, I don't even know what that means.

[Interviewer] But you do have a Twitter, right?

Oh, yeah, I like to tweet.

[Interviewer] Do you ever check your Twitter DMs?

Oh, what's that?

[Interviewer] I guess that's a no.

No, I guess not, maybe I'm not doing it right.

[Interviewer] You were named a living legend

by the United States Library of Congress.

Are there any perks to being a living legend?

Hmm, gee, if there are, I haven't gotten any.

[Interviewer] Do you ever get to hang out

with this living legend, John Legend?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know John.

Sure, we've done a song together.

[Interviewer] What song?

Gee, I don't remember the name.

Barry, do you know the name of the song?

I listen to the answers.

I don't answer questions.

I'm not sure I believe him.

Maybe we should do the lie detector test

on Barry. [Barry laughs]

[Interviewer] When Ariana Grande's song,

Thank U, Next, came out, you tweeted, thank u, nest.

Oh, yes, I think that was a typo.

[Interviewer] So are you an Ariana Grande fan?

Oh, sure, she seems really nice.

[Interviewer] Is that true, Barry?

Everything so far is true.

[Interviewer] Do you wish Ariana

would visit Sesame Street?

Oh, she's welcome anytime.

[Interviewer] You interned at Funny or Die in 2015?

Mm-hmm.

[Interviewer] Would you ever consider interning

at Vanity Fair?

Oh, sure, what do you have?

[Interviewer] There's a couple openings.

Well good, like what?

[Interviewer] For example, writing about the White House.

Oh, I like colors,

so I could write about any color house you'd like.

[Interviewer] Sesame Street's in New York City, right?

Mm-hmm, that's right.

[Interviewer] So you ever take the subway?

I have, but I have to really duck.

I have to duck really low and I sit in the subway like this.

You too, huh, Barry?

[Barry] Oh, yes.

[Interviewer] You've been six years old

for 50 years, right?

Well, I'm not very good at math,

but I guess that's right, yes.

[Interviewer] Do you have any skincare secrets or?

Any skincare secrets?

Well, I mean, I'm a bird so I molt.

But I don't know, it just kinda happens.

[Interviewer] Well thanks for your honesty.

Now we're gonna have some of your friends

ask you some questions.

Oh, goody.

[papers rustle]

[text slams]

Hi, Bird.

[Big Bird] Oh hi, Cookie Monster.

What you doing?

[chuckles] I'm good, how are you?

[Cookie] Me good, what you got on there?

I have no idea.

But Barry put it on me and he's very nice

so I guess it's okay.

Hi, Barry.

Barry, that's Cookie Monster.

Yeah, hi. So nice to meet you.

Good to see you.

[Barry] Good to see you.

[Cookie] Me going to ask you some questions.

Oh, goody.

Okay, um.

Boy, me got to think of question.

Oh, oh, you live in big nest, right?

I do.

Did you make said nest, yourself?

Yes, I did make my nest, yes.

Wow, me always wondered about that.

Uh. Oh, Cookie Monster?

Yeah. Where do you live?

Me live in apartment.

[Big Bird] Oh, did you make the apartment yourself?

No, me just moved in years ago, but it rent-controlled.

Oh, that's nice. And the old me

not going anywhere.

That's pretty good.

Me been there since the '60s.

Really?

Me look at sublet it.

No, I wouldn't do that. Me would get kicked out.

I don't know what it means,

but I wouldn't do it. Oh, you have to be careful.

Just checking that camera.

Hi. Hi.

Oh, me got question.

[Big Bird] Okay.

[Cookie] You live near Oscar the Grouch, right?

Mm-hmm.

Okay, so would you say he a good neighbor?

Well, he's a grouchy neighbor, does that count?

Me like it, Barry, we good?

Truthful, truthful answer.

Terrific.

Um, have you ever thought of asking Oscar

to clean up the garbage can?

No, not really, I mean, that's what Oscar likes.

He likes his trash, I mean, he loves his trash.

I would never ask him to clean it up.

Big Bird.

[Big Bird] Yes, Cookie Monster.

Would you say that you love birdseed

more than me love cookies?

Hmm, that's hard to say.

I mean, I sure do love birdseed

and I know that you love cookies.

Oh, oh, hey, Cookie Monster.

Yeah.

Have you ever tried a birdseed cookie?

Me have.

They're good, right? Me love, you like them?

I do, I like them a lot.

Let's go get one of them.

Okay, let's.

[Cookie] Oh, you strapped in there.

Maybe get one for me. You know what,

Barry, whenever he go, maybe all three of us.

You like birdseed cookies?

Oh, I love 'em.

They're really good. Let's do it.

The three of us.

Then we get crazy.

[papers rustle]

[text booms]

Hi, Big Bird.

Hi. Hi Elmo, hi Abby.

This is Barry.

[Elmo] Hi, Barry.

Oh, hi Barry. Barry, this is,

this is Elmo

Hello. Barry, what,

what in the world and Abby.

is going on here?

What is this?

Yeah, what's happening?

I like your tie, Barry.

Oh, thank you so much.

It's very fashionable. Yeah,

it's nice. That was true, by the way.

[Abby laughs]

So what is this, a lie detector test?

What should we do, Barry?

You are gonna ask the questions.

Ask the questions. Ask, yeah.

Yeah, I'm gonna

At Big Bird. answer the questions.

Do you have any questions for me?

Questions. Okay, okay,

who's your best friend?

Snuffy.

Oh, thought he was gonna say Elmo.

Okay, who really is your best friend?

Snuffy.

Oh. Mr. Snuffleupagus

is my best friend

Oh. Is that right?

That's a little awkward.

Abby, your turn. Is it?

Okay, Big Bird.

Yes, Abby? Other than Snuffy,

who are your other best friends?

Oh, Elmo and Abby.

[Elmo and Abby laugh]

That's easy, oh, Barry?

[Barry] That's true,

very, very true. Yeah, you're my friend too,

right? Oh, we can be friends.

Yes. And Barry's, Barry's,

you know what, maybe we should do a playdate with Barry.

Oh, that's a good idea. Sure.

Barry. Love it.

Absolutely. Do you know the alphabet?

Hey, Big Bird?

Hmm, what? Would you say

hopscotch is your favorite game?

No, I don't think hopscotch is my favorte game, no?

[gasps] Barry, is that true?

Everything he has said so far is absolutely true.

Wow. Ooh, ooh,

okay, I got another question. Okay, go ahead then.

Okay, go ahead. It's kinda rippin' off

the other one. Okay.

Rippin'. Okay.

What is your favorite game?

Oh, I love tag.

[Abby squeals] Oh, that's good.

That's a good, that's true.

Yeah, and now we know.

Okay, so Elmo has a question.

Okay Elmo.

You performed Feeling Good by Michael Buble

on Lip Sync Batter. Yes.

Is that a question? So is it a question?

Is that true?

I did.

Okay, very good.

That's Elmo's question. He concurred it.

He what? It's called concur.

You were there with me, Elmo.

Remember, we did I Gotta Feeling.

That is true.

Correct, it's right.

Would you say you have lots of feelings, Big Bird?

Sure, don't we all have lots of feelings?

[Abby] Would you say that you're emotional?

Emotional?

Are you an emotional bird? Yeah.

Well, I mean, I have feelings.

Sometimes I feel happy.

Sometimes I feel sad.

That's just what being a bird is all about, right?

Beautiful.

I love it. That was beautiful.

I love that though. That was beautiful.

It's making me emotional.

Sometimes Big Bird's emotional.

And now it's making me sad.

Oh, okay, it's gonna be okay.

Okay. We gotta lock it up,

lock it up. Okay, I gotta question.

Okay, Big Bird. What?

Remember when we had a sleepover?

Do I snore?

You do snore a little bit, but it's very cute

and it's like little [tongue clicks].

[Elmo] [snickers] You snore.

[Big Bird] It's very cute, right?

Elmo, you remember, right? Yes, it's adorable.

[Elmo and Big Bird laugh] I just was wondering,

I didn't know for sure.

Okay, last question, this is a hard-hitting question.

Okay, hit me with it.

Do you like candy?

I do like candy.

That's correct! [Abby laughs]

Congratulations, Big Bird. Thank you.

Whatever this is, you win. Everything he has said

so far is absolutely correct. Can I get

unhooked from this thing now, it's a little tight.

Barry. Barry, did he pass?

That was the most truthful session I've ever had

in all the time I've been doing this.

You could say, wait for this,

you could say he passed with flying colors. [laughs]

[Big Bird laughs]

Except I can't fly. Do you know it's--

I think you noticed, I can't fly.

You got it. Make a point to try?

You know what, Barry's getting emotional now.

Look at him. It's true.

Oh, a little tear. It's so sweet.

Hey, you know what, I have to go to the bathroom.

Yeah, I'm with you.

That's true. I went.

It is true, I know, can I get unhooked from this thing?

Actually, I went just now. It's the weirdest thing

we've ever done. [door slams]